Well, this is exactly what it says. I doubt most atheists will need these, but maybe a few religious people looking for grammar tips will be brainwashed into atheism through this. Yes, I do suffer from a mild form of OCD when it comes to language.
Oh…and there’s also some rational logic hidden in here.
1) Its vs It’s: It’s is just a short form for “It is”. When in doubt, say “It is” and if that does not make sense, use its.
Wrong: Its obvious that God exists.
Right: It’s obvious that God is just your imaginary friend.
2) Should of: This is just terrible and makes no sense whatsoever, just like religion.
Wrong: I should of gone to Church on Sunday.
Right: I should have skipped Church on Sunday and not wasted my time.
3) Their vs. there: There is somewhere. Their refers to possession.
Wrong: In the book “Conversations with God”, the authors talk about there conversations with God.
Right: In the book “Conversations with God”, the authors talk about their mental delusions.
4) Lose vs. Loose: If you lose something, you’ve lost it. If you’re loose, then you’re not tight.
Wrong: God tells us not to be lose and never loose our virginity before marriage.
Right: There is no God, so be loose, have fun, and lose your virginity whenever you want to.
5) Your vs. You’re: You’re simply means you are.
Wrong: If you don’t accept God, your going straight to hell.
Right: If you don’t accept God, you’re a rational, intelligent person.
6) Then vs. Than:
Wrong: If you talk to God rather then the devil than he will talk back to you.
Right: If you talk to God rather than the devil, then you need to be committed.
7) Hardly never: This is a double negative and means “almost always”.
Wrong: Republican congressmen hardly never have sex.
Right: Republican congressmen hardly ever have sex with women.
8 ) Whose vs. Who’s: Who’s stands for “Who is”. Whose indicates possession.
Wrong: It’s the devil whose responsible for the child molesting priests.
Right: If God can defeat the devil, then it’s God who’s responsible for the child molesting priests.
9) Effect vs. Affect: Effect is the result. Affect is like influence.
Wrong: You can have a good affect on someone’s life by praying for them.
Right: Praying for someone will have the same effect on their life that your dancing naked will have.
10) Apostrophes for plurals: When adding an ‘s’ to make something plural, do not put an apostrophe.
Wrong: Atheists are evil people who want to put vending machines that sell condom’s in kindergarten.
Right: The Pope is clearly an idiot for rejecting condoms as this increases the spread of AIDS.