Contrary to popular belief and despite their claims, atheists’ lack of belief in God is not a result of rational and logical clear-thinking. The sad fact is that they suffer from a number of diseases, which, working in concert, contribute towards making them unable to accept the simple fact of God’s existence. As loving, caring, and extremely moral people, it is important that we try to understand these causes, so that we can treat them as diseased human beings first, and immoral heathens second.
The most serious of the diseases that afflict atheists and also one that seems to make them vulnerable to most of the other diseases is called Consistentitis. A religious brain is a marvelous feat of engineering that only God can achieve. It can do what a brain affected by Consistentitis cannot. It can hold two or more contradicting facts without causing any unwanted reactions like throwing out some of the facts until the brain is internally consistent. This disease is caused by a virus called Honestus Toselfus. This virus is responsible for eating away the cells in the brain that grow to form walls that compartmentalize the brain and allow us to hold a huge variety of different ideas.
Then, there is Incredulitis. This disease prevents atheists from easily accepting miracles. A normal religious brain is quite open, absorbing as many things as it can, and without any interference from the brain, and sending them all unquestioningly directly to the facts store. However, with Incredulitis, the brain starts filtering facts. Just like a water-filter straining out the bigger particles, Incredulitis causes the bigger facts like the elephant God, and the virgin birth, which we call miracles, to be filtered out. This lack of facts causes their Evidentitis to flare up, leading them to start demanding the very facts that their brain rejects. Evidentitis is a condition that makes atheists distrustful, skeptical, and cynical human beings. They start demanding evidence for every little thing. It makes them so distrustful of their fellow human beings that they do not even accept the facts written down by God himself in our holy book. This leads to a vicious circle, where the constant rejection of facts again causes their Incredulitis to worsen. In the end, this vicious cycle ends with the atheist brain throwing out all belief in God, and labeling God and religions as nonsense.
The virus causing Incredulitis and Evidentitis is called Commonus-Sensus,which when combined with exposure to an even more deadly virus called Sciencus, seems to make everything a whole lot worse.
However, all is not lost. We can prevent this disease among our children by thoroughly moulding their brain in a way that it does not get infected by these viruses. Common symptoms and suggested treatments follow. If you notice any of these in your child, act immediately.
- Child displays an OCD with reality – The most common symptoms of this are trying to relate the world of miracles with the natural world and expecting to see them happen in the natural world as well. For example, when a child is unable to see miracles happening in the real world and is unable to see any signs of God, he becomes vulnerable to Incredulitis. The suggested treatment is to point out the miracles that have indeed happened in his life. Like the time he topped his school or the time he found $20 on the road. In case he still displays doubts, keep telling him over and over again about other miracles happening all over the world, like Bush being elected President twice.
- Child asks a lot of questions – This is a very noticeable development early on in a child’s life. This excessive curiosity must not be allowed to develop into anything serious. Symptoms include silly questions like – Why doesn’t God punish the bad people? Why did God let that aeroplane crash? If there is only one God, why are there so many religions? These are very simple questions, but as we know, the answers to these are quite complex and philosophically complicated which a child’s undeveloped mind cannot as yet grasp. So, the best way to deal with questions that you feel your child may not understand is to use answers like “Because I said so” and “When you grow up, you will understand”, and “Go and read the holy book and you will understand”. If you are successful, the child will stop asking questions and start accepting everything you say as the truth, which is great because it means the child’s brain will not be strained by too much thinking.
- Child displays lack of self-confidence – We know that our God is the correct one. However, when a young child sees the existence of other “religions” and “gods”, she may wonder why her religion is the true one. This erosion of confidence in our faith must be stopped before it develops into a serious case of asking too many questions. The suggested treatment is to point out all the logical flaws and contradictions in other unsophisticated religions that cannot obviously be interpreted in any way that makes any sense whatsoever.
If you follow the above advise, you should end up raising a child that has the ability to hold complex thoughts that appear contradictory to the simple mind, a child that is so full of confidence in her own faith that she will loudly proclaim the truth of our faith to everyone and tell members of all other “faiths” how wrong they are, and finally, a child whose mind does not ask questions, but provides simple answers to those who ask hard questions.