1) Record your weight everyday after waking up.
3) The next day you are only allowed to eat when your weight equals your previous day’s (weight – 0.1)
Continue the cycle until you reach your desired goal. Then send me money.
Try at your own risk. I am not responsible if you die or something.
05/30: 70.0 kgs.
06/16: 68.4 kgs.
06/17: 68.3 kgs.
06/18: 68.2 kgs.
06/19: 68.1 kgs.
06/20: 68.0 kgs.
06/21: 67.9 kgs.
06/22: 67.8 kgs
06/23: 67.7 kgs
06/24: 67.6 kgs
06/25: 67.5 kgs
06/26: 67.4 kgs
06/27: 67.3 kgs
And I’m done for now as this is close to where I need to be.
Note that these aren’t actual weights recorded. If I need to be 67.8 on Monday, I might be 67.1, but I record it as 67.8. The point is to not eat until you’ve recorded less than or equal to 67.8.
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Posted in Atheism, Cars, Humor, religion, Stupidity, Tips, Top 10 list, Uncategorized, tagged Atheism, Driving Tips, Driving with God, religion on October 17, 2008|
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Atheists and religious people share the same roads. These roads happen to exist in the real world where the laws of physics hold firm. However, these same roads are viewed through different perspectives by the religious and the atheists. How could they not? Their entire world-views are different. As an atheist, I will not be going to heaven and so, in the interest of prolonging my stay on earth for as long as possible, I’d like to offer some tips to fellow faith based drivers in the USA.
- I know the lord works in mysterious ways. However, that doesn’t mean you have to also. Especially, not on the road. When you intend to turn, give a turn signal.
- Yes, I know you are going 80 mph in the passing lane on a 55 mph speed limit road and I also know your prophet George Bush says “Stay the course”, but he’s not really talking about driving on the roads. Just like we atheists go one god further than you do, we might also want to go just 1 mph more than you. So move over to the right.
- I know I am not supposed to pass you on the right, but because of “Stay the course” people, I sometimes have to. I know you feel all goosie-woosie about faith, but please don’t have any in me and turn on your signal and check before making a faith based swing over to the right.
- You are supposed to follow the Lord closely in your heart, not me at 80 mph in the right lane.
- The bible says “A man’s wisdom gives him patience “. This means: wait at least a few seconds after the light turns green before blasting your horn.
- Just as it’s impossible for a camel to pass through the eye of the needle, so also is it for me to squeeze my car through the tiny gaps between other cars. If I am in front of you and you see 10 cars in front of me not moving, then no amount of honking is going to make me try it.
- Do not attempt to read the Bible, Koran, or the Gita while driving. God may be watching over you, but he doesn’t really know how to drive because he’s only ridden asses.
- Here’s a non-divine revelation: no-one cares that your kid is an honor student at St. Paul High or that Jesus is watching over all of us. Bumper stickers should be funny or creative like this one, not sleep inducing.
- I know you have to drive huge SUVs because your God commands you to subdue the earth. But if you really have to drive these slow ass houses on wheels, at least stay in the slow lane.
- God does not want you to get into an accident, so He will not reveal himself to you by forming an image of the virgin Mary in the clouds. So stop looking up at the sky while driving and keep your eyes on the road.
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